city of blinding lights;

do YOU even know?

my heart broke;
not because you've broken my heart.
but because i can't help thinking...

its been so long, really so long..
going to a year already...
yet i still can't forget totally...
i don't know what was it,
that makes me think of you suddenly..
maybe it's really the past, the memories..
you know how much i wish,
i wish i could forget you, forget the pain?
but i doubt you'd ever know it...
cos you're happily in LOVE.
i know i could too...
but you know me well, don't you?
i don't wanna be deceiving myself,
as well as the other party
that i love him while i still think of you..

i really hate myself alot, darling.
i can't help, but to think if you're doing fine..
if she's taking really good care of you..
if you're doing fine together with her..
if you're really a happier man now..
if your family is doing well..
if your health is getting better..
if your old injuries still hurt..
if you're doing okay financially..
there's so many things i want to know,
i want to ask.. yet i can't bring myself to ask,
and to care as a good friend.

you know, i really love you.
i really love spending every sec of my life with you..
and i really love everything about you..
but our r/s hurts me so much..
and it hurts me very much for me to say this.
but i really wish i have never met you...
only then, i'll still be my usual self...
the Vivian who's really happy no matter what~

i know i have to forget you, but i can't.
i should have stopped missing you, but i know i can't~
tell me, what should i do?
i miss you~

posted by babies- @ 12:54:00 AM